(I’m gonna assume you’re referring to gender dysphoria.)
Well, there’s not much you can do to make it better, but you can at least avoid making them feel worse.
- Use the name and pronouns the other person wants you to call them by. This one may seem obvious but it’s important.
- If you haven’t already done this, make sure your friend knows that you accept them for the gender they are and that you’re there for them if they need you.
- Ask them if they want to talk about it. If they do, then listen and let them talk. Don’t try to offer advice, just listen. If they don’t want to talk about it, then drop the subject.
- Don’t make comments about which gender they look like. Even if you’re trying to compliment them or be encouraging, this tends to make people feel more self-conscious.
- Don’t offer advice about how they can look more like their gender, or what boys, girls or another gender are like. If they want your advice, they’ll ask for it, but otherwise just keep it to yourself. (This advice usually just reinforces faulty gender stereotypes anyway.)
- If they want you to leave them alone, then leave them alone. Don’t take it personally - sometimes dysphoria is so bad that just being around other people is painful. (The exception here is if you think they’re at risk for hurting themself or others.)
- Watch out for gendered language. Pronouns, sir/ma’am, and Mr./Ms. are obvious, but there’s also more subtle stuff, like how “man,” “dude” and “guys” are sometimes used gender-neutrally, and sometimes aren’t. Or how words like “handsome,” “beautiful,” “tomboyish” and “hysterical” often have gender connotations. Ask a person if they’re comfortable being called any of these before you use these words for them.
- Try to help them take their mind off of their dysphoria. Do things that make them laugh, engage them in fun activities, and just generally give them something else to think about for a while.
- Treat them like a normal person and don’t make a big deal of the gender stuff. Like, you should show that you accept them and take the matter seriously, but don’t treat it like a really weird, mysterious, exciting or amazing thing. Just take it in stride and listen to what they have to say.
- Don’t ask them for personal details of their life, body, gender feelings, or sexuality. This is very sensitive stuff, and it is a privilege if someone decides to share it with you, so be respectful and don’t pry.
- If a thing, word or activity makes their dysphoria worse, don’t do it around them. Ask them if there’s anything you’re doing that causes dysphoria for them, and if they want you to stop it, then stop it.
- Read up on the problems that sometimes affect people with gender dysphoria. A few of these are: depression, anxiety disorders, abuse (often from family or relationship partners), violence, sexual assault, self-harm, suicide, eating disorders, homelessness, and substance abuse. Watch out for your friend, make sure they know they can talk to you if something is really wrong, and try to get them help if you think they’re in trouble.
These are just the ideas that come to mind; I’ve probably left a lot of stuff out. Further additions are welcome.
Dád Egbert has officially been banned from Facebook. I can’t get him back without government ID.
This post will honor the man and the legend and live on in our hearts even as he no longer lives on on the internet.
RIP Dád Egbert. And may you and Johnjamin seek peace in the afterlife.
im tryin to learn a new song but all i have is this ….catpiano to learn it on ; o ;
1. Date a boy who makes you happy, but marry him only if he makes you laugh deep-belly rumbles that hurt your ribs as they expand outwards. Date him when he sees that you’re hurting and he gives you a moment to feel that pain like a handprint spreading across your consciousness, marry him only if he can make you smile even while you’re gross sobbing. The world is not a kind place. You will feel a lot of pain. Make sure you are with someone who makes it all bearable. Humor is an excellent gauge of intelligence. Life gets boring. Find someone who makes the banal interesting.
2. Make sure he has scars on the back of his hands, it’s a good sign he has experience either fighting or making things - creation is an act of selflessness and bruised knuckles are a good sign he knows how to defend himself. You’ve got too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. If he’s never thrown a punch, let him at least have tasted the insanity of bringing an idea into existence. Rough palms are better than soft ones, they have been salted by this earth and made into leather. Callouses are evidence he has lived, that he has broken skin and been in pain over and over and over again and still came back to the source of it. People rub against each other. Don’t marry him if he can’t handle even a little blister.
3. Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.
4. Trust your instincts. If he ever makes you feel unsafe, don’t make excuses, just get up and leave. That’s all there is to it. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
5. If he puts money before you, he’ll keep pushing you to the bottom of the pile until you become his last priority. It’s one thing if he can’t afford what you want, it’s another if he has the cash but won’t spring for a box of chicken mcnuggets. Money and love are arch enemies. 62% of divorces occur due to economic strain. Make sure keeping you is more important than his 401k.
6. How a man treats animals is a good indicator of how he treats children. If you see him raise a hand to a dog, pack your things into a little black bag. Animals at their worst are only half as annoying as a toddler on their best behaviour. Your kids will be beautiful, but they will also misbehave. Same goes for waiters and hotel maids - if he’s rude to those who are working for minimum wage, it says a lot about how he sees himself. Patience is rare and so important. If he’s not forgiving to a dog, he’s not good for your kids.
7. If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you. You are my little girl and you were born perfect. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss. There is someone who thinks your flaws power his heart. Be strong. If he asks you to change, be like like rock of your birthstone, do not waver. You are wondrous just the way that you are.
if u accept well passing trans people but make fun of trans people who are either early on in their transition or just dont live up to your outrageous disgusting standards then ur gross and double gross as well
i’m not a traditional witch
Hello, Tumblr. See this thing?
It is the best goddamned thing you’ve seen all day.
Say hello to the Infinite Jukebox, an experiment in looping songs. See those curves cutting through the circle? What this bad boy does is analyze the song for similar beats and sounds, then randomly skips between said beats forever.
Yes, you heard me. Forever. With this piece of musical genius, you can literally play the same song for as long as you want - It will create the song that never ends.
Some examples include:
And if that’s not enough, you can upload your own MP3s to this bitch and it’ll loop those as well.
Have fun, kids.
Season 9, and Dean’s hair is sexier than ever
y’all bleed outta your vaginas
once a month, your panties look like a fucking murder scene
you are basically giVING BIRTH TO THE FUCKING LINING OF ONE OF YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS
and yet you just go about your daily business like
people with vaginas are fucking badass.
people with vaginas
what are they called again?
They’re called people with vaginas because not everyone with a vagina is a woman.
whoop there it is
I watch this disturbing video every easter
The entirely pastel backgrounds are what make this a masterpiece.
After a lot of rain here in FL these baby frogs appeared. They eerily all faced the same direction.
ＴＨＥ ＲＩＴＵＡＬ ＨＡＳ ＢＥＧＵＮ
Look around your college classroom, spot the virgins.
See, this seems like a game until you skip over the girl with a short skirt and hair in front of her eyes because you heard last summer that she slept with like nineteen guys. You can’t see her hands, but they’re under the table, pulling a rosary through her fingers as she tries to wash the sin off her. She’s only ever kissed three people in her whole life and they’re all girls. She turned down the wrong guy and he told everyone she’s “a whore.” The label “slut” stuck to the bottom of her shoe and swallowed her up.
But that quiet girl who is always reading probably never touched someone else’s penis, you figure, because you don’t know that she goes home and strips down and pulls on tight black leather, you don’t know she’s got a set of whips that could make any set of knees quiver, you don’t know because she’s proud of what she does but she’s not stupid enough to let anyone know about it. She’s sexy, just not here, not where people judge.
See, the truth is: you have no idea who has lost their virginity, because it doesn’t change you. It doesn’t give you some kind of glow or superpower or stamp on your forehead. You know the feeling of waking up on your birthday and thinking “I don’t feel any older whatsoever”? That’s what maybe they’re all so afraid of you finding out: sex doesn’t change you. Sex doesn’t make you an animal, sex doesn’t suddenly make your relationship a million times more stable or intimate or romantic - it can’t fix what’s broken, although it can make the pain go away for a bit. Sex doesn’t really occur with eighty tea lights and a thick white rug. Sex is ugly and loud and frequently awkward, sex is excellent and breathtaking and when you wake up the next morning, you’re the exact same person. There’s not some magical connection with the person in bed beside you. Believe it or not, pregnancy isn’t some kind of punishment - but practice safe sex, get tested, don’t spread your germs around. They want to tell you, “Sex can ruin you” and I’ve heard that a lot as a little girl, that some boy would join me under my sheets and then dump me four days after, used, unhappy.
But I figured out that I’m not a fucking toy. Letting someone have sex with me is not letting them “use” me, because I’m not an object. My father said the issue lay in the fact “Men are insecure and need to know that they’re the best you ever had,” but I think that’s a steaming crock of absolute-wrong and if I didn’t tell the people I’m with how many others I’d slept beside, there would be literally no way for them to know my number, because I don’t rust, I don’t wear out, I don’t get bruised. I’m not a wilting fruit, I don’t go rotten.
But here’s the thing: some people connect sex and emotion. I don’t personally because I am probably secretly an ice storm in disguise, but I still respect my partner’s desires. If they’re the type to want love and sex to coincide, I let them. I don’t make fun, I don’t pull one-night-stands or friends-with-benefits, because it’s not their “reputation” I’m afraid for: it’s their heart I’m defending.
Here’s the thing: Instead of worrying about people’s “purity” and how it defines them as a person, worry instead about how you can protect other people’s emotions.
Because here’s the thing: look around your room and spot the virgins. Look harder. You can’t tell. Sex doesn’t alter people, it doesn’t make them act in a certain way nor dress in a certain manner. Sex and personality have nothing to do with each other. There’s a reason that virginity doesn’t show on someone’s face: because having sex doesn’t cause you to change.
*Nightly Bonus* - TOTALLY unrelated to the collage work. I guess I needed to get this out of my system, do something silly for myself between all my serious work-type projects/real things I do for money…
Cecil & The Angels, WTNV.
I am humbled by all the talent in the fanbase for this unbelievably unique podcast. The broadcasts have been alternately disturbing and cheering and touching and I came across them while I was going through a rough patch in my life, and they lifted me, brightened by day every first and fifteenth days of the month. I could never hope to do justice to the amazing work done on that podcast, so here is a bit of silliness instead.